I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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