My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
