I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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