Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
