Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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