ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
