This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
