everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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