I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize