his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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