As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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