hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
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Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
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Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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