I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
this just has baby written all over it
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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