Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
