suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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