There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
and i looked up. we had an audience...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
