Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
