guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
