Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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