I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize