Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
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Is it because I queefed?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
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My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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