u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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