Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize