She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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