having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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