You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
