Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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