Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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