there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
