More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
