You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i came on her dog
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
