he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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