My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
