fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I love you.
Bad choice
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
