eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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