also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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