Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
