Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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