In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
