omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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