If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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