Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
