I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
