You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
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Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
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If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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