Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
