Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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