you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
