Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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