How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
how does that bad decision feel?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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