wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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