Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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