Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
