i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
