sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
