The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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