im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
