she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
