I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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