I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think I died a long time ago.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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