She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize