he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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