True but thats because hes a fetus.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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