she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
